remember the puzzles
you used to click them together
with you mother
3d fishes swam over the table
moving left and right with your head
remember the halves
and quarters
and thirds that went missing
the more you put them together
each time more disappeared
remember crying at the imperfections
seeing that you'd never have enough pieces again
remember when your mother told you were too old
and her too busy.
remember her leaving for work before you woke up
and returning too late to put puzzles together
she slept too often
you too little
you cried too often
her home too little
somehow you missed her
someone who lived in your house
you wished
spit dripping slowly
one, two.
lie back against the cold,
hard tiles.
and sleep again.
mouth burning
and stomach complaining loudly.
my eyes
they burn at the screen
still i stare
tap-typing away
murals of thin people
painted on my inner eyelids.
and for the first time in five moths
the waterworks choke
groan
and sputter to a start
and squeak
crack
and shudder to a pause.
i will try to fix you by XRippedJeansX, literature
Literature
i will try to fix you
snaps from jigsaw puzzles
the pieces correct
the corners
the edges
a sky section
some grass
and a few unruly horses
whirring screws spinning in place
the circumference round enough
one here
another there
a nail and a hammer
bookshelves never looked better
make up covering a stunning truth
the foundation light enough
eyes lined
and shadowed
lips glossed
cheeks blushed
chemicals hiding a knockout smile
a boy in a scarf waiting for the bus
he shivers and shies from the wind
tear tracks down his cheeks
backpack by his feet
a fake smile contradicting the belt's imprint
bruised around his neck
the puzzle pieces carved into his side
scarred away
Listen to it
LOUD.
Maybe you'll
feel again.
Pretend it's a
distraction.
Make believe
it makes you
feel better.
To feel better,
though,
you'd have to be
able to feel.
Maybe tomorrow
it'll kick in.
Another year of
arguments,
held back tears,
screaming,
scars
and
fucking skirts.
idon'twanttogotoback
dark shadows
haunting
the corners.
'close your eyes.'
'go to sleep.'
brush
away the
whispers.
eyes
fixated on
the bright
screen.
'just a minute.'
'i'll head to bed soon.'
sleep
is for
the weak.
no rest
for
the wicked.
and you're
as naughty
as they
come.
'one more page.'
'one more song.'
one more night?
late nights
early mornings.
sore throat
burning eyes.
regret swimming in your tears.
did you think?
no, not really, but it was fun right?
I guess I just miss the feeling of a good sleep.
thanks for hanging around. by XRippedJeansX, literature
Literature
thanks for hanging around.
scissors to cut us out
you really are the happiest there is.
smile you're in poetry.
again.
breaking someone's heart.
again.
but i'm the same.
alienating those who i like.
pushing away fro my friends
and people who care.
still not believing anyone does.
that irritating friend who sticks around.
it's a wonder we have friends.
some act of magic.
but thanks for sticking with me.
Just how long until you fall?
Seconds.
Why aren't you on the ground?
Not trying.
Aren't you working hard enough?
My head aches.
Come closer.
Catch me.
No chance.
i.
Deny yourself oxygen.
Wait until you are gasping.
Out of breath.
Then take little sips.
Reviving yourself.
Never take enough to be easy.
Hear your mind shout.
MORE.
Have the power to yell back.
NO.
Argue.
Talk back.
Little sips.
Do you feel faint yet?
Are you fading?
No?
LESS.